My boy's got "sticky brains"

Driving my son and a school mate back from the sports ground (where they have "Late Games" once a week) I heard them discussing their exam results.

Rewind a little: Despite a half-term break that was not much of a break, despite having to study for his Grade IV Music Theory Exam in the middle of school exams, and despite leaving out -- again -- a whole chunk of revision required for his Geography paper, son achieved very good results. In the 90s with all the papers except English.

So he and B were chatting and comparing results and talking about how difficult Geography was and how they did not have time to finish giving the answers.

Son: I got a whole paragraph wrong, but I went back and sorted it. The last question I had no time to finish.

Friend: What did you get?

Son: Somehow I managed to get about 19 or something out of 20.

Friend: What? That's 90-something per cent.

Son: 95%. I was afraid I'd get 98 or 99 per cent. Last time I got 97 per cent and Mrs W said if I scored any higher she would have to rewrite the whole exam and make it more difficult.

Me: I think Mrs W was only joking.

Son: Yes, she was only joking.

Friend: Why are you so good?

I was thinking, O, no! This is where son would say, "That's because I am clever." Not very modest, that.

Instead I heard after some hesitation: Well, I have a sticky brain. The facts stick to it.

Whew! What a relief?

New Term. New Headmaster

Quite a change at school, actually with a new Headmaster.

Back four weeks now. How time flies. Another two and we'll be on half-term break already.

School seems OK. Off sick two weeks ago after catching Daddy's cold.

Staying home on Wednesday (missing Fun Choir) and Thursday (missing Games) was not fun at all. I make it a point for him not to "enjoy" much when he's supposed to be unwell. Never give your child an incentive to stay home.

However the new rule at school is if your child is well enough to come to school, he should be well enough to do swimming, PE, and so on. Since son could not cope with either, not being a hundred per cent fit, he opted to stay home. Even when he knew there'd be no TV till after school time.

A bit cross that yesterday another boy asked to swop clarinet lesson time with him and son agreed out of the kindness of his heart. He forgot that he would miss French -- again -- two lessons running.

Told him he is not to swop now for frivolous reasons. Apparently this other boy was given a half-hour catch-up lesson because he was ill. Typically if a child misses the lesson because of illness, he misses it. I don't know how he managed to get his lesson back. None of my business actually.

But when it encroaches on the learning of MY son, I think it is a bit unfair. Both boys had missed lessons due to illness. But why should MY son be disadvantaged by having to miss the same school lesson twice to accommodate another child?

Just us parents being selfish, really.

Son also said piano teacher now thinks he might be able to do Grade V piano in November/December instead of March next year as planned (giving him a long break between exams).

That's on top of his Theory Grade IV in November, on the same day as a school exam. I hope the clarinet teacher is not going to spring the Grade III exam on us as well.

I find it hard to think that my nine-year-old might be attempting his Grade V. But it does not bother him one way or other. He's not pushed. Neither does he seem arrogant about it. No sign of wanting to brag about his achievement. That's a very good sign.

Last week a young friend who was elated about getting a Merit in his Grade I Trombone asked if son had taken any exams yet. Son just quietly replied he's working on his Grade III.

He said he felt it was not right to say anything (like he had a Distinction in Grade I) to take away the joy of his little friend. For a boy who's scored so lowly on "social comprehension", he is definitely improving.

Proud of him.

Cub Camp

As I write son has just been deposited at his fourth Cub Camp.

For the first time he was reluctant to go.

Turned out that he was told off at the last camp for something that he claimed he did not do -- being the loudest in his tent/room. He was tired and wanted to go to bed but the others were noisy and then a leader came and decided that he was "the loudest" and told him off.

He looked alright as he settled into his tent this evening, so I hope and pray that he would be 'smiles' when we pick him up tomorrow.

He's leaving camp early after the Saturday campfire because he wanted some time to rest before starting school on Monday.

In fact he was not going to this camp at all but the Pack Leader has asked him specifically to go as he is "an important part of the pack".

It's nice to feel wanted. Still I hope he does not get swallowed up by his negativity.

3rd October: Weeks later now. Forgot I had this post on draft. Camp was OK. He's even made friends again with the youth leader who reprimanded him. Turned out he lives on the same street and is now back at university.

Turns out too that son really thinks of him as his "role model".

Having a lovely summer

Son has been spending time at the holiday club run at his school premises. He enjoys some days more than others.

On the whole I think it is benefitting him. There's plenty for him to do and many boys and girls with whom he could play.

Meanwhile I seem to be working non-stop at one thing or another.

I could be refining embroidery patterns, photographing handkerchiefs or table napkins, putting photographs on the website, etc. One week I spent two whole days just coding in html.

I said to son sixteen hours of coding at £50 an hour would cost -- please work it out -- answer: £800. Dad said it's probably more like £30 an hour. Still that is quite a lot of money.

Anyway the point is I don't have to pay out this sum of money because I do all the coding myself. The £20 I spend on his holiday club is peanuts.

Sometimes there are sales and custom orders I need to take care of. Last week someone ordered nine lilac hankies. I only had one ready-made. So I had to wash, iron and cut fabric as well as hand-sew these hankies very quickly.

Can't sew these "quickly" as such. Each takes up to two hours to complete, depending on the light available. Sometimes it is so hot downstairs I have to work upstairs on a lap-tray!

Then I make hospital visits. A lady at church had suffered a stroke. She's a member of our fellowship group and I feel obliged to visit because she has no relatives in the area. My husband cannot visit as he is afraid of picking up a bug from the hospital.

It is fiendishly expensive to park at the hospital, so I take the bus. I don't usually stay for more than 20 minutes because it is now impossible to communicate with her though she knows exactly what I say. Trip there and back is an hour and a bit.

Sometimes I don't even stop properly for lunch, or forget to take lunch, and wonder why I am so hungry.

Today I was also trying to organize my own appointments to two different hospitals where I have to undergo testing. They now give you a date and time and you simply have to accept it. They wouldn't change anything.

I said it is difficult for me to organize childminding. Sorry, but you have to be seen within six weeks. If we miss the target we'll be in trouble.

That's right: their target is more important than the welfare of the patient.

That just about sums up NHS (Not the Health Service).

Just having a rant.

And son is looking really handsome with his hair allowed to grow longer instead of his usual four-by-two (or is it two by four?).

My 9-11 boy

That's "nine-to-eleven".

I have this hypothesis -- after having spent many hours interacting with boys at son's school as PTA member/secretary/chairperson -- that boys undergo a 'silly stage' at ages about nine to eleven.

And then as they edge towards 12 and 13 they suddenly learn responsibility, it seems, and become very sensible, thoughtful, and for most at his school, polite.

This is why I think it is better to transfer boys to senior/secondary schools at 13 rather than 11. The extra two years, as the teachers in his school tell me, make such a difference.

When son tells us the jokes that his History teacher tells, for example, and how the boys laugh, I said, "Yes, he's a 9-11 boy."

He laughs at the most silly things, banal jokes and is repetitive to the point of tedium at times. But what is familiar is also comforting. He seems a bundle of contradictions.

Sometimes he loses sleep over the credit crunch and was once found in tears before bed worrying about the world economy, war, etc. Yet he still enjoys Spongebob Squarepants. Right now he's watching -- again -- Indiana Jones, chuckling over the funnies, commentating on the action, and hiding behind cushions when it gets gory.

Then he goes mad over a helium balloon. When we were on holiday he pestered his dad to buy him his first beach ball. (We didn't notice that he's never been given a beach ball as he had all kinds of floats and stuff for use prior to this. A beach ball was what he really, really wanted.)

Thankfully he is still very, very sensible despite being 9-11. He's learning to be very helpful especially after dinner when he helps to clear the dining table. He looks after himself more and more and I am really pleased. I do not wish to mollycoddle him.

He also has this 9-year-old tendency to burp loudly.

Is there anything physiological in this? Someone please tell me.

I remember my nephew who at about eight and nine also used to burp rather frequently and loudly. His visits to us were memorable by the number of times he went, "Pardon me."

Ah, but at least he was polite enough to say that.

My son? He's usually OK, but sometimes he is so comfortable with us his parents he does not remember his manners. Reminding him to form a good H-A-B-IT is another important task.

I don't think parents can ignore the relationship between the physiological and the emotional.

I remember that face when he first sat up (propped up, actually) at four months. Suddenly it seemed he could see so much further and so much more. Life is a bit more than the lights on the ceiling and the stuff that hang from the cot, etc.

As he matures physically, as he is able to handle more practical tasks, he also needs to mature emotionally and learn to use those practical abilities.

I mean what use is a nine-year-old who could handle a sharp knife if mum does all the cooking for him?

After dinner tonight husband said "He is growing up" and it makes him feel old.

I said we must learn to live with it. I anticipate missing him a lot when he goes to boarding school (should he decide to go to boarding school), but that's what I need to get used to. Eventually he would have to leave home.

There comes a time when every parent has to let go. And as I say to my Christian friends we have to "let go and let God".

Summer holiday over

Today we came back from centerparcs. It's the end of our family summer holiday. Feels strange as the state schools around us are only starting their holiday today.

Holiday started off with my putting my back out. Got down early. Took the washing out and hung it up and might have packed a few things away. Went back upstairs for my shower and found that I could not stand up straight.

The pain was so bad that I had to take painkillers. Thankfully the journey there was comfortable enough. Son was very good.

Got there and had to collect our bikes. Would I be able to cycle?

Answer: yes. It was OK so long as I kept bent over. I was still in too much pain to stand up straight.

We lazed the rest of the day away.

Day Two: I put my feet gingerly on the floor. Would I feel pain if I stood up?

I was able to stand up straight!!! What joy!

There was still some pain, but it was bearable. I didn't need to walk around hunched over.

But I decided not to do the ten-pin bowling as planned. Husband however remained competitive. Son was devastated by his poor performance. (He refused to use the gutter guards and had many gutter balls.)

Son suffers from an attitude problem. Came to a point where husband was so fed up he was ready to walk out. Somehow we (the boys) managed to keep going.

Son persevered grudgingly. When he was good (or 'lucky'?) he scored the most amazing points, but most of the time he decided to hurl the ball into the gutter.

I could 'talk' but could not do much. When husband tired out I played a few of his frames and did OK. I had to show son that despite my temporary disability that it's not simply brute force (think husband/dad) that matters.

That was perhaps the worst bit of the break. Thankfully he became more positive after this. We swam, played bowls (only husband had done this before), table tennis, etc. and had a great time.

We enjoyed the food -- no cooking for me, yay! -- and were blessed by good weather.

Aches and pains we had many but in the end I could celebrate at least that son had gained so much confidence in his biking skills. He moved from a trailer ("Faster! Daddy, faster!) to a tricycle which he rammed into the bike ranks, to a bike with stabilizers, and now a real 20" bicycle.

He was also incredily confident in the water and enjoyed the 'waves' and the big slides. And the amount of food he ate. ... scary!

Seven more weeks of son at home before school starts. Just as well he's booked into holiday club for some of this time!

Last Day of School

Went for the Leavers Service. This is the school chapel service dedicated to the Form VI boys leaving for senior school. It is quite an emotional time for the parents whose sons have been at the school for some time.

I like going to the service to pray for the boys, some of whom I know better than others. They each go up for a special blessing from the School Chaplain whatever faith (or none) that they may or may not have. I saw proud parents taking photos of this moment.

So pleased that in such an overtly Christian school they have managed to integrate pupils from such diverse cultural and religious backgrounds.

Then we moved swiftly from the Chapel to the Hall for the final Headmaster's Assembly. As the Headmaster was leaving this was his final final assembly.

More certificates were given out. Son was given his Excellent Work in Drama Certificate and Good Work badge. He later showed me his certificate for Class Champion in Chess given out earlier in the morning and the Headmaster finally returned his Chief Scout's Silver Award to him then as well.

"Goodbyes" were said to boys leaving, migrating and going on long holidays.

Another school year had flown by so quickly. In a few weeks' time son would start at the top form of his 'Middle School' and having to get used to putting stuff in lockers and organizing his day, taking exams in the main hall, taking on more responsibilities, etc. etc.

It's great to see these young people growing up.